I am really looking forward to:
A new haircut
Michael’s art store Craft night!
Travelling next year
Teaching in the new school year
Cleaning out my closet (out with the old, in with the new!)
Moving in a few months
Reconnecting with close friends
Making new friends
Researching masters programs
I’ve learned that not many people are like me, knowing exactly what I want. That makes things a little tougher for me sometimes, having to make tough decisions in order to grow in the direction I have started towards. I must accept that no one knows me best but me, and it is about time I listened to my gut instead of second guessing myself and putting my loved ones needs so far ahead of my own. No one can love me with more respect than I give myself. I am responsible for my own wellness; I am the only one who can truly empower myself inside-out. Really facing my fears and desires this weekend has shown me that I am stronger than I ever gave myself credit. My confidence is not dependent on someone else’s desires; my insecurities not influenced by someone else’s expectations; my growth not dependent on another person’s indecision. I need to use this newfound strength to keep pushing myself to grow, and explore my list of LIFE To-Do’s.
Going for a nice long run in Victoria to enjoy the sunny Sunday morning.
Just for today, allow yourself to imagine what your life would be like if your hands and heart were to receive something better than what you are holding onto right now. - Iyanla Vanzant
Off to Victoria for the weekend to gather my thoughts and be alone. How drastically life changes, but I will only grow stronger. Holding on to mantras of self respect and self love, praying hard for wisdom to get me through the next little while.
It’s been a while since I’ve had an epiphany. The school year ended terribly and then I was thrust into the up current of summer events and wedding commitments. It’s been really fast paced, and I haven’t had a real conversation with myself about where I am headed. It kind of feels like I am floating along with the flow which had always been exactly what I didn’t want to become. Either it is because of age or it is because I am settling into a different stage of my life. It is probably the latter, and as usual it is a strange paradox I live in where I do not always feel like I belong. I hope that the trust I put in the wind will carry me until I have the strength to figure out where I want to direct myself.
what I teach, the number of hours I work, the places I go, the people I surround myself with
overwhelm and become a hum, background to the tick tock and flip flip of time passing by
I have given into the experience, agreed to go along and take things as they come
my birthday this year seeming more significant, a declaration of my commitment to life and my career
a little turmoil in my heart about priorities versus dreams and
carefully shaping my reputation as a young adult, a new teacher, a loving individual
not to give up nor be intimidated by the reality of life after graduation
(crisis in Education, paying the bills, saving for my future, planning post-grad academic goals, investigating career moves, investing in friendships)
there is so much to learn!
“And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.” 1 Corinthians