It is an uncomfortable time during which I am adjusting to yet another new schedule. It is difficult to balance work, life, and my personal wellness but I am committed to finding a balance as soon as possible.
Moved some things to the classrooms but I still have so much to do.
First I need to prioritize my classroom and school commitments, as I hope to establish an even better relationship with the staff and students at both schools. I still find myself working the full weekend tutoring and teaching evening ESL classes and it is a little upsetting to commit so much time to these students. It is not easy for me to sever these relationships with the kids who I’ve known for up to six years now! Last night it occurred to me that I may need to establish a running routine before and after school everyday in order to get my fitness in. Singing and reading have become part of my commitment to doing things for myself… And I will join the knitting club at one of my schools to learn some more about that art.
My knit circle scarf
It’s a new term tomorrow , and a new season today!
Starting band again this term, covering an extended medical leave. It was a lucky coincidence and I am grateful for the second contract which will bump me up in seniority for next round of postings!
Felt some anxiety about starting band, but also feeling a lot of anticipation and excitement about seeing the students with whom I didn’t get to say goodbye to last term. It’ll be an exciting term full of musical fun.
Feeling positive about the support and love I am getting to take on this challenge. It will take hard work but I know I can do it! One step at a time. To stay present and positive requires patience and faith.
Singing is a celebration of oxygen. Bjork
I joined my first choir ensemble! It was a lovely evening of meeting kind and wonderful people, then getting to sing with everyone in parts and also together… Feeling safe to learn my own musical voice ‘instrument’ and express myself freely!
It feels so good to connect with new people. It is so interesting to hear their stories and also just to be with them in song and spirit, feeling what we feel and singing to release that.
I am so excited having heard my voice in that setting… Realizing that I have that voice and looking forward to building confidence to sing more in my life. There is something powerful about being in the company of other musicians. There is definitely a synergy and flow of energy and power in the way our voices mix. Music is so amazing.
All day the lesson I reflected on the lesson that learned from flow class: that physicality draws us into the present moment with intention, to breathe and survive each moment of the pose. Also, that the intensity of each pose is purposeful. Its intention is to provoke a tension so great that you resist and learn to face hardship head on. Having worked through each pose gives us skills to face emotions and challenges of daily life. Transformation occurs when we can breathe through every present moment, staying calm and feeling equanimity. The goal being to weather any storm with a collected wisdom sometimes assumed to only exist in perfect condition rather than imperfect painful situations. In those moments of pain are spaces for the greatest growth which we easily shrink away from, just like how we avoid sweating or feeling tension in our muscles when we work them. The opportunity is most prominent in these moments and we must learn to accept the challenges regardless of how incapable we feel. The truth is, we can do anything if we put our mind to it.
Also made some moon cakes for mid autumn festival on Monday. Feeling connected with family as I learn traditional recipes!
Caught up in the beauty of words and their power to soothe, create a landscape through imagination, and bring escape. Finished another of Murakami’s books in one sitting, which made me feel so free (I cannot recall the last time I had given myself time to indulge like that).
I am feeling the difference in my daily routines. The yoga challenge sparked a wellness routine into my life, my desire to sleep early, practice yoga, and eat mindfully have grounded me in this chaotic time. Allowing myself to feel emotions as I do, being forgiving and self compassionate. Instead of dwelling, feeling, and giving myself space and energy to sit through my thoughts and feelings.
Learning to sit through my anxiety and anger towards the situation going on with the public school system. Feeling frustrated with little things and irritated at the uncertainty that frames my life right now. Trying not to take it out on those closest to me because I know that all I really need is a hug and some yoga. There has been no time for anything this week, and I am struggling to schedule time for friends and family around my inconsistent schedule.
Thank goodness it is Friday.