When Someone You Love Hurts You

Originally posted on The Weekly Sparkle:

20140121-185942.jpg

“When someone you love hurts you, you have a decision to make: you allow it to destroy you, you let it make you stronger or you take the opportunity… and walk away.”

Pain hurts. Betrayal hurts. Anger hurts. Frustration hurts. But nothing can compare to when this hurt comes from someone we love. I take the word love seriously. Love between two people in a relationship, love between family members, love friends have for one another… any kind of love. For me, all love comes back to the golden rule: You treat {love} people the way you want to be treated {loved}.

I think what makes the hurt, hurt even more is the expectation we place on the ones we love. “I know I love you and so I’m going treat you this way, speak this way to you, and respect you like this…” and we expect the…

View original 788 more words

Floating

It’s been a while since I’ve had an epiphany. The school year ended terribly and then I was thrust into the up current of summer events and wedding commitments. It’s been really fast paced, and I haven’t had a real conversation with myself about where I am headed. It kind of feels like I am floating along with the flow which had always been exactly what I didn’t want to become. Either it is because of age or it is because I am settling into a different stage of my life. It is probably the latter, and as usual it is a strange paradox I live in where I do not always feel like I belong. I hope that the trust I put in the wind will carry me until I have the strength to figure out where I want to direct myself.

5 Things We Learned Together

Originally posted on Us Two Cats:

We have been together for a year and a half and it’s been a lovely journey of learning with and from each other.

Here are the 5 greatest lessons we have learned together:

1. Speaking our mind with love.

“Peace is not an absence of conflict, it is the ability to handle conflict by peaceful means. ” -Ronald Reagan.

It is important for us to be honest with each other. One of the things I have learned is to give my partner the ability to be honest. Sometimes it is hard not to be sensitive and take things personally. Above all, we both remember that at the end of the day we want the best for each other. This way we do not leave room for passive aggressiveness.

2. Being patient does not mean being passive.

“We could never learn to be brave or patient, if there were only…

View original 343 more words

hum

what I teach, the number of hours I work, the places I go, the people I surround myself with

overwhelm and become a hum, background to the tick tock and flip flip of time passing by

I have given into the experience, agreed to go along and take things as they come

my birthday this year seeming more significant, a declaration of my commitment to life and my career

a little turmoil in my heart about priorities versus dreams and

balance

carefully shaping my reputation as a young adult, a new teacher, a loving individual

not to give up nor be intimidated by the reality of life after graduation

(crisis in Education, paying the bills, saving for my future, planning post-grad academic goals, investigating career moves, investing in friendships)

there is so much to learn!

“And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.” 1 Corinthians

Smile in appreciation

A few notes from my short-hand, scribbled quickly in my teacher journal, during the quiet after a class leaves Band and before another class comes in:

“Smile, for music is about appreciation, and expression.” 

I am learning to teach passionately without taking it personally. Some days I find that I bring home more stress than pleasure, unnecessarily, because I had forgotten how to appreciate the chaos in the learning process.

“Take a deep breath and make the call.” 

Sometimes students confront me about the way I do things and how it is different from the previous teacher. It used to make me feel a jealousy? or a feeling of embarrassment from being confronted. I’ve stayed calm, honest, and open in my communication with them. I have been firm when I’ve had to, deciding to take feedback and make decisions. A month in, my students look to me as their ‘teacher’ now, after all the testing of my boundaries… It just took lots of patience and consistency to build rapport with the students.

“Positivity trumps all. Fear cripples optimism for no good reason, and limits potential!” 

With each class, I feel more confident. I have searched for support and mentorship and gotten wonderful feedback and advice. It is a cozy, close-knit school district I work for. For that, I am lucky and grateful. I have made the best judgement calls I could, repeated mantras to myself to get through the challenging days when more than one instrument needs repairs…, learned more about all the instruments than I ever thought I would, and now we are in the final 6 weeks before instruments are returned!

“…desire to be present for my Ss but balance responsibility/stress”

It was quite a challenge to be present 100% of my teaching time because I was somewhat overwhelmed with the constant to-do list running in my head. It is a lot to learn the names much less become familiar with all the students’ musical skills. That stress made me feel like I couldn’t possibly contribute more than I am, yet for some reason I wasn’t serving my students to the best of my ability. I think this speaks strongly to the importance of professional development and connection with experienced teachers. I look forward to more pro-D because after yesterday’s workshop and conversation with seasoned teachers, I felt more mentally engaged and confident because I felt the support network backing me. I look forward to the rest of the school year! 

 

humility and diligence!

Lately, I have been learning to square my shoulders back and brave new opportunities. I started teaching at two elementary schools as a full time music and band teacher since the term started after spring break. It’s been a wonderful challenge for me in many ways. Not only am I rediscovering my love for music, I am also realizing how little I know about music education. I have been immersed in music education since I was a child– I went to a music preschool/kindergarten school, my elementary school was very musical and had the largest strings orchestra in Vancouver, and I studied piano diligently. Never had I thought that I would actually become a music teacher (and it was by chance, too). I am learning so much about band instruments from my students and my own research and study at home… it takes a lot of humility and humour to be learning alongside my students. 

 

With my full time job with the school district, teaching the four classes at the Academy, and mentoring a grade seven girl from YHS, I’ve become very thoughtful about the extra time I have leftover. I am getting so much better at leaving work at work, and being able to say no  to some social events in order to savour some down time. I feel that I am experiencing a lot of growth. I feel less stressed out and more able to step back and appreciate that teaching is also a learning process. 

 

It is so profoundly wonderful to be in a community of educators, to be part of a school, because I know that I have so much to learn from the experienced teachers surrounding me. I may not have much experience right now but I sure am learning quickly!